Do you find yourself putting others before you…often, or even always? Are your decisions based on what others like, even if they don’t resonate with you? Do you ignore, stuff or negate your feelings or find that you don’t even know how you feel?
It may be time to start learning how to honor yourself.
That idea may seem a bit ambiguous or challenging, or down right unattainable. What does that even mean?
If you believe that everyone is equal and deserves the best opportunities, deserves to be happy and achieve their goals, deserves to be supported and respected, why not you? Are you just as important and special as everyone else? I hope you think so. If you agree, it’s time to show the world that you’re important by honoring you and your needs.
How can you honor yourself? The ways are many. Here are just a few…
~ When making a decision or evaluating your behavior, ask yourself what you would say to your best friend.
We tend to be good at supporting others and encouraging them to stand up for themselves or do things to make them happy, but not as good at doing the same for ourselves. If you imagine someone you love and respect in the same situation what would you say? Now turn that back on yourself. And accept it.
~ Set boundaries, and maintain them.
When we give in, we send the message that our needs aren’t as important, we don’t value our desires, or we aren’t committed enough to hold fast. We can look weak or indecisive or like a pushover, which shows lack of belief in ourselves.
Setting boundaries can be challenging, because others may not like them, especially if they’re used to you backing down. You may get some backlash until others learn that you mean business, and even after that they may try to dissuade you, or they may get upset or angry. That’s when maintaining the boundary, in a neutral heart-felt way, is even more important.
~ Maintain a solid self-care practice.
If you want to give to and take care of others, and be the best parent, partner, employee or boss, you MUST take care of yourself first. Put on the oxygen mask, then take care of others. There’s no way around this. If we ignore our needs, our health, our overall well-being, eventually illness creeps in, whether chronic physical disease, lack of energy, or mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety. The body systems can only handle so much, so you can honor yourself by listening to your physical, mental and emotional needs.
~ Choose healthy relationships.
It can be scary or nerve wracking to communicate your needs in your relationships, but to have authentic, satisfying, harmonious ones, it’s imperative. Set those boundaries and share your needs and expectations, in a loving way, so you can be respected and supported and there’s no confusion or doubt or misunderstanding.
Sometimes people just don’t resonate or offer what we need and we may find it’s best to part ways. Staying in a relationship which drains you, feels one sided, or is demeaning is not only not healthy, but not necessary. You honor yourself by acknowledging that it’s time to move on. (If you’re in an abusive relationship you may want to work with a counselor who can help you stay safe and make appropriate choices for your circumstances).
~ Listen to and hone your intuition, your inner knowing.
If we can slow down, quiet down, remove all distractions, and go within we can ask ourselves questions and receive many answers. This can be in the form of meditation or a mindfulness technique, using muscle testing or pendulums, using a technique like EFT/Tapping, or just asking our bodies to give us the answers. If you identify what your body feels like when something is good and resonates with you, then notice how it feels when you think of something that you know is not good for you, you’ll know your answers by checking in with your body as you consider the question or situation.
There are many ways to honor yourself, and the first step is choosing to do so. If you answered my question, “Are you as important and special as everyone else?” with “No” or “I’m not sure” or anything other than “Yes!” it may be time to work on your self worth with a guide. I’d love to help. Or if any of these ideas seem completely unreachable or you have no idea how to even begin, I’d love to chat with you about ways to do that. You can schedule a free discovery call so we can see what’s possible.