Speaking Our Truth
If you find it challenging to speak up, you are not alone. One of the most common themes in my work with clients, that I also work on every day, is speaking our truth.
We may have learned at a young age that speaking up is dangerous or creates criticism or is not acceptable. We may have learned it through some kind of small t or big T trauma, or other experiences. Maybe we learned that being quiet kept us from having to acknowledge feelings. However we learned to hold back and not share our thoughts, feelings and needs fully, it was a major disservice to ourselves, and to everyone who interacts with us.
My sensitive self wants others to be ok with what I do, to be happy with me, to be happy period! I don’t like discord or people being frustrated or unhappy or distressed in any way…it feels yucky to me energetically. So, it’s tempting at times to hold my tongue, not voice what I’m thinking or mention what I need. If I don’t speak my truth, however, I will be left with not only unfulfilled needs, but a dense energy and festering feelings.
Other people will have feelings, and I’m not responsible for them or for controlling them. I’m responsible for my behavior, yes, but if I’m coming from a heartfelt place, just sharing myself or establishing or maintaining my boundaries, how others choose to feel is not my responsibility nor is there anything I can do, in a healthy way, about it. I just need to be authentic and speak my truth. Am I perfect in this? No…I work on it every day.
If we can let go of expectations, judgments (including of how someone ‘should’ feel or act) and attachment to the outcome we actually allow others to own their experience and be in their power. Speaking our truth, when done with compassion, does not impair other’s ability to do the same; rather it encourages rational, supportive communication and validation of each other’s experience.
Not speaking our truth can have many unhealthy, unhelpful results:
~not getting our needs met
~decreased self worth
~anger, depression, anxiety
~lack of trust in ourselves and others
Speaking our truth means honoring ourselves and our needs and valuing what we have to say, regardless of how others may feel or respond. If we choose to not hold back because of what could happen, we free ourselves to be authentic and release our emotions, and lighten our energy. We get to just be ourselves, be content with our decisions.
Making this shift doesn’t usually happen just by deciding to. I find tapping (EFT) to be an extremely helpful tool for shifting mindset and developing the ability to honor ourselves and be authentic. I’m always amazed at the way things shift so quickly and clients become aware of patterns on a deep level, then can release them. It’s incredibly powerful to be able to speak freely without fear of the outcome, without compromising our needs and our boundaries. Tapping allows for this to flow without talking in depth about the past and always creates a release of trapped emotions and a new way of seeing and experiencing things.
If you’d like to learn more about tapping or other ways to shift mindset and learn to speak your truth, please reach out…I’d love to talk with you.